Given the flow of love in marriage, I had been thinking:
If love is not to come from my spouse, than what’s the point of marriage?
I am going to need to receive God’s love thru Jesus whether am married or not and can serve Him whether am married or not — maybe even better if am unmarried, so what’s the whole point in being married? I was greatly feeling the weight of Paul’s words when he shared in 1 Corinthians that for him it was better to be unmarried.
In asking God the question, he asked it back to me. My answers brought me back to concepts I learned during pre-marital counseling, mainly:
One of the purposes of marriage is to symbolize the love of God for the church.
That short answer is sooo full of meaning. Further exploring what that means gave me God’s answer: my marriage is not for me. Or, when rephrased with the same language as my question:
The point & purpose of my marriage isn’t for nor about me.
Marriage isn’t for me, meaning my marriage is not for myself. From my spouse’s perspective, it’s not for herself either. Marriage is for me to give myself fully to my spouse – in the same way that Jesus gave Himself fully for His bride, His church.
The reasons for which I got married (love, companionship, sex, happiness — when inspected closely are self-serving and selfish) don’t even stand in God’s responses to me.
So, my marriage is for:
1. God and his glory
2. My spouse
Other reasons, such as my child/family, though important and valid, don’t fall in the same level as the two primary reasons above. My wants and needs fall far below any of these reasons. Talk about dying to myself…
So once again, my marriage isn’t for me. It wouldn’t succeed if it were. God is continually fulfilling his purposes thru and in my marriage. As hard and difficult as it can be to stay in the fire, He is continually refining and shaping me to be more and more like Jesus. To God be the glory.